Ep V - Bruiser’s Story

Mummy has a sore lower back and daddy is massaging it. So they’re too busy to write their usual diary entry. Today, I will da write my gentle-puppy story about the things that I have been da doings so far. Daddy promised to spellcheck my writings afterwards; but I don’t think he will - he’s busy looking after mummy.

So about da most importanest subject in da world: me!

My goal is to be the most well-fed and well-travelled puppy in a da whole worlds. And because I don’t poo (except for that one time on daddy’s pillow whilst mummy was distracted with Canto dramas), they can take me anywhere!

Mummy always carries me around in her purple Furla bag. I’m enjoying it more and more - it means I don’t have to walk; plus purple is growing on me as a colour. Maybe daddy can get me a suit cut in that colour - gold and purple, so I can be like Roman royalty and so bling-bling.

So before we went off on holiday; I ate lots of food, like this snickers bar. Then when mummy and daddy got on the plane; daddy was really sick but they still had time to take me out and play with me.

Travelling on the trains is one of the most fun parts about this trip. Daddy says it’s something about ‘mental decompression’ and ‘interstitial time between more intense experiences’ but I had trouble just spelling that part. So here’s a picture of me helping mummy very generous services of butter and marmalade, on the Chunnel train. She calls it “having bread with my butter”. I’m not sure what that means but it doesn’t sound right. Then again, I’m just da puppy - and I just like looking out the window.

I got lots of opportunities to eat super-fancy food with mummy and daddy. The hyper-polite Frenchy waiters all liked me sitting on the table; and they helped me eat all the good foods.

I’m more than an just an ornamental gentle-puppy. I help mummy and daddy with real work! Here’s me thanking people for doing acts of micro-volunteering at our London Chapter.

Here’s me helping mummy carry home my share of the groceries from Rue Cler in Paris - really, really itty bitty bananas that mummy didn’t want to eat but just bought cause they were cute. I helped mummy and daddy eat them though; cause we don’t want to waste food.

I’m always helping daddy write; in cafes and other places. Sometimes I like to just look out the window, like here in the oldest continuously running cafe in the world. It’s called the Cafe Florian, and Daddy says it was part of the Grand Tour, and lost of dead white people like Byron used to sit here and write as well. I’m more interested in the secret present I got my aunty Ginny Hamster. Can you guess what it is?

Well, I got to travel to Rome soon - we’re just waiting for the train now, in more of this interstitial time that daddy likes. He’s doing some funny things with coloured fetching sticks. I put da photo here. My favourite part this whole da trip has been meeting all my doggie friends! Even though Venice was such a small, human-sized city (which is still really big my toy puppy standards), there were lots of doggie friends - both real and stuffed - for me to make friends with!

Until next time, signing off:

 - Bruiser B. Masin, gentle-puppy of the world, traveller extraordinaire and gourmet food-hound.